When I saw the nurse she recommended that I see the clinical psychologist associated with the surgery team, this is something offered to all women considering this type of surgery. I figured that talking to someone else about my decision can only help so I took her up on her offer.
Leading up to the session I was very apprehensive, I had no idea what to expect and after my experience with the genetic counsellor I didn't have high hopes.

The appointment was yesterday, I was so scared that I made my partner come along and wait outside! The lady I saw was lovely, she put my completely at ease and let me decide what we would discuss. It was brilliant to be able to talk to someone that wasn't emotionally involved in the decision making process. The appointment lasted an hour and I left feeling like I had discussed everything I needed to. 

We didn't spend much time discussing surgery as I still feel a bit detached from it all. Most of the time was spend discussing my mum's reaction to my decision. I am very close to my mum, she is one of my best friends and I value her opinion above all others. The fact that she wont talk to me about surgery is very upsetting. The counsellor encouraged me to talk to my mum, I rang her as soon as I left and she is now fully supportive of my decision.

Having a preventative mastectomy is a huge thing and everyone has their opinion on it, there is no right thing to do with the knowledge of a BRCA mutation I can only do what I think is best for my emotional and biological health. My mum now understands that this is my choice and that I have entered into it fully informed and aware of all the implications.

I made another appointment for after I have seen the surgeon and met women who have already had the operation at the support group. I think then I will know more about the surgery itself and have more things I need to discuss but for now I'm happy knowing that I have the full support of everyone I love.

A couple of weeks ago myself and my partner Sean went to meet the specialist reconstructive surgery nurse at the Newcastle RVI. 

We spent about an hour talking about the various surgery options and which she would recommend for me. After looking at my upper body shape the nurse recommended implant only reconstruction, potentially with strattice. 

This is the option that I was looking into as it is the simplest, with the shortest time on the surgeons table and normally has the shortest recovery. It doesn't, however, give the most natural results in both look and feel. The nurse showed us some implants and explained that, since changing to the more solid silicone, they are completely safe and the silicone cannot leak out as previously believed. She also explained that implants will deteriorate over time, meaning I would need an operation to replace them in 10 - 20 years.

I now have to decide whether to keep my nipples or have them removed and reconstructed a few months after surgery. If the nipples are kept there is a small risk of cancer developing in this area. I will write a post about this decision at a later date. I will also write a more informative and in-depth post about the surgery option I choose once I have seen the surgeon.  
 
I came away from the consultation feeling very positive. The nurse never once patronised me, told me I was too young to make a decision like this or told me it was all just a silly idea. These are all things that my previous genetic counsellor made me feel whilst going through genetic testing for the BRCA1 mutation. The vast majority of genetic counsellors are lovely, professional, knowledgeable people, I just got a bad egg.

When I tested positive for BRCA1 two years ago the genetic counsellor told me that I wouldn't be considered for preventative measures until I was at least 30 years old. It wasn't until I came across the National Hereditary Breast Cancer Helpline that I discovered this wasn't the case. 
I found that women of a similar age to myself were undergoing preventative bilateral mastectomy to reduce their breast cancer risk from around 90% to roughly 8%.

I have just started the process of deciding if this option would be right for me. This blog will document my journey through decision making, surgery and recovery. I aim to inform other women considering this option of my experiences, and hopefully help them to make an informed decision about their own course of action.

I am writing this blog simply because I have found similar ones to be an invaluable resource during my decision making process. This doesn't come naturally to me but I am doing it because I want to help others and I think getting my thoughts and feelings out might also help me deal with the tough times.

I hope someone finds it helpful!