I used to hate my boobs, I was so skinny when I was a teenager and my chest was much flatter than my friends. If someone had offered me a boob job when I was 14 I would have gladly accepted.

My boobs didn't get much bigger but I got over this silly hatred of my body when I was about 16. From that time until just a few months ago I haven't really though about my boobs, they're not my best feature but they're not my worst either.

When I decided to have the surgery I suddenly took notice of them and you know what, they're actually quite good boobs!
I got measured for the first time and I'm a 32D...so they're actually quite big as well!
And my partner seems to like them so I guess that's the opinion that counts!

But despite growing to love them, I don't think I will be sad to see them go. They look great, but they could kill me.
So you know what, I will give them gladly, on the one condition that cancer never dare darken my door.

Every month a patient support group is held at the RVI. Women who have had mastectomy and reconstruction volunteer to talk with and show their surgery results to women that are considering the operation. This group is for women who are losing their breast due to cancer and also women who are considering preventative surgery.

If this type of support is offered to you I strongly suggest that you go! It was so so helpful to not only talk to women in a similar situation but to see the results of reconstruction up close.

I was very nervous about this evening, thankfully my wonderful friend Sophie agreed to be my wingman and "help me pick some boobs!" 
I felt a bit out of place when I got there as I was by far the youngest and I realised some of the women had mastectomy due to cancer, this made me feel a bit of a fraud because as yet there was nothing wrong with me. Sophie told me to stop being daft...wouldn't these women have taken preventative measure if they had the chance? She was right of course, as always!

It turned out that most of the women I spoke to were BRCA and had preventative anyway!
The results far exceeded what I had dared hope. In bras you just couldn't tell and without the bras the scars were neat and inoffensive. 
The boobs also felt great! I was really worried as the implant goes under the pectoralis major muscle I thought it would feel like a body builder's pec! They felt very soft but the women did say that they were self conscious of people brushing against them as they perceived them to be quite hard.

I'm really looking forward to going to the support group as a volunteer and showing off my own scars!

Last week myself and my partner Sean went to the RVI to meet my breast surgeon for the first time.
I chose my surgeon after seeing pictures of the results he has achieved. It is important to choose the right surgeon, you need to be on the same page and want the same things but most of all you need to like them!

I was a bit nervous about the consultation, even as a medical student I find surgeons scary! But I also had a stereotype of 'cosmetic surgeon' in my head. I really didn't want him to waltz in all botoxed and beautiful and to insist I go bigger!

The whole thing was a bit bizzare, a receptionist showed me and Sean into an empty consultation room (a very snazzy one mind!) and we sat there for about 20mins before the surgeon turned up. I expected him to waltz in surrounded by 20 medical students House style... fashionably late!
When he did turn up he shook us both by the hand and sat down...very unremarkable. 

I was glad to see the nurse was with him, she is just lovely and her presence was very reassuring.
He spent time explaining the procedure, the risks involved and the results I could expect. He also gave us plenty of time to ask questions. We didn't feel rushed or pressured into making a final decision and both surgeon and nurse were happy for us to ask all the questions we had prepared. 

Thankfully he didn't fit my 'cosmetic surgeon' stereotype, he was a wonderful, intelligent and empathetic man. He did however talk to my boobs for a good portion of the consultation...something that made Sean and I quite uncomfortable but I guess it come with the territory!
I have become quite aware of my boobs since embarking on this journey and I actually considered changing my top before we went to the consultation because I thought it made my boobs look bigger than they are!


A second appointment was made for January when I would be measured for implants, as I want to remain as close to the same size as possible it was decided that we would leave it until this date to order implants, assuring a closer match.

He appreciated that I had a very short time frame for the operation and recovery, to put me at ease he set up a date for surgery of the 12th June 2012. He did however explain that this would be subject to change (he hadn't yet booked his summer holiday!!) but jokes aside I understood that this wasn't something he usually did and I appreciated the understanding he showed.

Before seeing the surgeon I would suggest writing down all the questions that pop into your head, you will find you have a lot to ask and no question is silly. Don't fell like you are wasting his time, he will have set aside about an hour to talk with you so make sure you get your monies worth!