This is long overdue and for that I am sorry, I thought I had already written a post explaining what was going to happen with my second surgery but turned out I hadn't. I apologise.
My last post said I was on the waiting list to have my implants exchanged and that I was waiting to see the surgeon for him to size me up for round implants. I went to the sizing appointment and after speaking to the man himself (previously I had spoken to his registrars) we decided that it would be better to keep my current teardrop implants and to do lipo-modelling.
Lipo-modelling involves removing fat from elsewhere in the body (liposuction!) and using this fat tissue to smooth out the area around the implants, giving a more natural shape and feel. No big incisions are made, its all done with big needles and you are left with just a few 5mm cuts that heal very quickly.
This surgery still involves a general anaesthetic but it somehow felt like a less drastic surgery than removing the implants all together and swapping them. It is done as day surgery (no hospital overnight stay needed) but I was warned by the breast nurse that it is very painful and some women do stay overnight to manage the pain.
I had the surgery done during my summer holiday. Just like the nipple reconstruction I had to starve from the night before then turn up to the day case ward first thing in the morning. I had all the swabs again, a needle put in my hand and my surgeon came and drew where he would take the fat from (bum, hips and thighs) and where on my breasts he would put it.
I went down to surgery, they put me to sleep and I believe the surgery took about an hour and a half. I woke up fine but with uncontrollable shivering, they got me a few blankets and this soon stopped. When back on the ward the nurse did some obs for a while, made me drink water and didn't let me have a biscuit! I had to wait about an hour before I was allowed a piece of plain toast and a cup of tea and then I finally got a biscuit (after the lady opposite me had eaten about 5!). After I had eaten Sean was allowed to come and pick me up and I went home to bed.
I was just on normal painkillers (paracetamol/ ibuprofen/ aspirin) but it was sore. My boobs didn't hurt too much but my bum, thighs and hips were very painful. I had the biggest bruises ever all over the top of my bum and down my sides from belly button level to mid thigh, these stayed for at least two weeks. The pain was the type you would expect associated with a big bruise, a constant sting and a very sharp pain when pressure was put over the area. This made it difficult to sleep as the areas affected included my back, sides and front so there was no comfy position to lie in.
I have made it sound awful but really it was fine. I don't want to downplay the pain as that would be unfair to people who might be considering this surgery, I want them to be prepared for it. But really it is just pain and pain is manageable, I could have taken stronger painkillers and this would have sorted it but they make me sick and for me that is worse. The good thing was there was none of the fatigue that the first surgery brought, I didn't need any down time and nobody had to do anything for me. I had to stop running for a couple of weeks as the jolting made it painful but I was straight back to it after that and my fitness hadn't reduced.
The worst thing about the surgery is that my trousers don't fit any more! I suppose being a dress size smaller isn't really something to complain about and some people actually pay for liposuction so I should stop moaning...but I can't afford new jeans!
I think this surgery was the right choice, if I had swapped my implants for round ones I would most likely have required lipo-modelling anyway as the round implants have harsh edges and often require lipo-modelling to make them look mo My boobs look and feel much better and despite the pain I would do the surgery again if I needed.
Its a while since I updated this diary regarding my recovery, mainly because I'm kind of in limbo. I wrote about my wonky booby, its still wonky and I think the other one is heading on the wonk now as well. They look fine...they just don't look as good as they did earlier on. I am seeing my surgeon in May to discuss how we should proceed...leave them be, swap them out for new anatomical implants and hope they don't turn again, swap them for round implants so they can turn as much as they please without it mattering or steal some fat from my fat thighs to fill in the wrinkles on my wonky booby. I will see what the surgeon thinks.
Anyway, I had my nipples tattooed on around the new year. That was interesting! Its just like getting a normal tattoo really. On one side I couldn't feel it at all but on the other side it hurt quite a lot, it was a strange kind of pain because I can't feel superficial sharp pain so it was just the deep ache type pain. Not very nice but it didn't last long. The breast nurse did it in the plastic surgery clinic so that was nice, not some big hairy man at a tattoo parlour!
I have put a couple of photos next (so again please only press the read more button if you are considering this surgery or similar, or are supporting a lady who is having this surgery)
When I was researching this surgery I felt it was very important that I see pictures of the result I could expect. It is only thanks to other women posting their results on similar blogs that I could understand what I may look like post-surgery. That is why I want to make images of my results available to women who are considering this surgery.
If you are reading this out of morbid curiosity, you are a friend, family member, lecturer or anyone else who doesn't have to face breast reconstruction then please respect my privacy and don't read any further.
Please be aware that the next section contains images of my breasts post surgery. Only click on Read More if you feel that viewing these images will be beneficial to your surgery decision.
Its over a month since I wrote on here and for that I am very sorry, but I have really had nothing to say. Life has returned to normal and I don't want to bore you with mundane updates on that! At the 9 week mark I can do almost everything I did before; pick up my two year old niece, paint the landing, hang out the washing etc. The effects of surgery now have no impact on my daily living. I am driving again and all is fine except it feels very strange when I put the car into 5th...not painful but not at all pleasant...like my muscle is squeezing the implant underneath. This results in me driving in 4th for far longer than I should, unless someone else is in the car to kindly handle the gear stick for me!
Another thing that I think you definitely should know is that I now have full on old lady bingo wings!! This is not at all amusing and there is very little I can do as the exercises needed to get rid of these awful things all involve my pec. muscles which are out of action! I will just have to work on building up the strength in my chest and hope that the bingo wings dissepear as I do so. So I have fabulous boobs (they really are lovely...I like them better than the old ones!!) but awful bingo wings framing them!
In other news, I saw my surgeon for the 6 week check and he was very happy, as was I when he told me I no longer have to wear a bra! The next step is nipples and after talking to the surgeon and the nurse and looking at their picture book I have decided to have surgery to reconstruct a nipple. This is done under local anaesthetic, so I will be awake and my chest will just be numbed, and involves some sort of skin origami to raise up a nipple-bud shape. When this has healed it will be tattooed by the nurse to give it a darker colour, at this point an areola is also tattooed around the nipple, however as I had quite a large area of pigmented skin around my nipple the surgeon left the outer area so I already have an areola! (this will make more sense when you see the pictures that I will post soon)
The waiting list for the nipple recon is around 18 weeks so I should have nipples in time for Christmas!
A month ago today I was probably at the sewing up stage after a successful bilateral mastectomy.
I can't quite believe that is true. If you saw me on the street you wouldn't know (unless you caught sight of the hideous bra they're making me wear for another two weeks). Sean and my parents have practically forgotten that I had surgery. If fact, if you saw me naked in the pool changing rooms you probably wouldn't know...unless you stared directly at my nipples...and that would be a bit strange.
Talking about swimming...I just had a call from the physio.
I have to wait til the 6 weeks mark until I can do any real exercise, not what I was hoping for as I'm quite fed up of this sedentary lifestyle.
I may be taking that advice with a pinch of salt and partaking in some gentle swimming...I think, seems as she was asking if I still had to bring my head down to my toothbrush (?), I may be recovering a little faster than average and I don't see how 10mins of very slow breaststroke can do any harm...I spend that long drying my hair and that is far more exhausting!
So the one month anniversary of my new boobs has been completely uneventful, in fact if the physio didn't call it would have passed by unnoticed!
My surgery was three weeks yesterday. I can't believe it has only been that long as it seems like a distant memory. I intended to document my recovery more often and more thoroughly but it has really been quite dull!
I feel fine, the same as I did before surgery.
Physically I can do most things I did before...I can't yet lift my textbooks (they're quite large though!) and I get out of breath walking up hills...I think that is more to do with the fact that I have been sat on my arse eating biscuits for the last three weeks! I can now sleep on my side as well as my back...can't sleep on my tummy yet though. My relationship with Sean is the same as before...I won't say any more because as I mentioned, our lecturers may be reading!
Emotionally I also feel as I did before. I think my breasts look great, better than the old ones even. Sean agrees and our relationship hasn't changed one bit. I don't feel any great relief, or any relief at all to be honest...I had no intention of letting myself get breast cancer so there was no worry to be removed.
I'm going to email the breast nurse as I'm itching to start exercising, I want to go swimming but I assume the answer will be no...worth a try though!
Two weeks on (near enough)
I had my dressings removed on Monday (25th) I could not wait for this appointment as the plasters were becoming very itchy! Also, whilst the dressings were on, I was not allowed to get my chest wet which meant I couldn't have a proper bath or shower.
I went into the appointment expecting the worst, my nipples have been removed along with the breast tissue and I didn't know how I would feel about my breast without the nipples. I also expected the scars to be quite raw, red and inflamed.
They look amazing! The scars are practically non-existent, there is no redness and they look completely healed...just one very straight and faint line across the centre of each breast. And having no nipples isn't bothering me at all, in fact the surgeon left a small amount of pigmented skin at the top and bottom so I actually have an oval of pigmented skin that is taking the place of my nipples. I will be making pictures available at some point but I am still trying to decide how best to do this...Uni lectures and old school teachers are now aware of my blog and I don't want to give them a fright! If anyone reading is considering/having surgery and think they would benefit from seeing the pictures sooner rather than later you can get in contact with me and we will sort something out.
I feel great too, apart from not being able to lift anything heavy I'm completely back to normal! I'm not in any pain but the nerves around my breast are starting to regrow so my skin is hypersensitive around my bra line. This starts to get a bit annoying towards the end of the day as I have to wear a sports bra 24/7 for six weeks and it rubs in the exact place where my skin is sensitive.
Sean and I keep forgetting that I had surgery, we are moving house and decorating our new flat at the moment and it isn't until we stop in the evening that we realise I have probably done too much!
Day 3 Friday 15th I left hospital on Friday!
I was allowed to leave as soon as my drains were removed and this wasn't nearly as painful as I expected...kind of like pulling off a really sticky plaster.
I was home by about 10am...I think they could see I was keen to be off so told me to send someone to pick up my antibiotics at lunchtime.
As soon as I got home Sean helped me to have a bath. It felt amazing to be clean again after only having wet-wipe washes since Tuesday!
I wasn't up to much on Friday, I just slept and sat on the sofa really. Mum picked up my antibiotics from the hospital, my course was due to finish on Monday so I had to carry on taking them over the weekend. I took the antibiotics at about 2pm and felt so sick and awful that I cried and refused to take them any more...and that was with anti-sickness tablets!
As I medical student I know how important it is to finish a course of antibiotics, especially when the risk of infection is high. But at this time I was not a medical student, I was a patient and I was fed up of feeling sick. The operation was fine and I was in no pain at all...the only thing making me feel ill was the tablets that were meant to be making me better.
So I put them in the bin...but don't tell my dad...he would be very upset with me!
Day 4 Saturday 16th The first day since my op that I dared to venture out!
Sean drove me down to the Quayside, I walked down some steps and into the coffee shop of the Baltic, I had a drink, I walked back to the car...and then I had to sleep for three hours!
I wasn't eating very much at all, hadn't been since my op, and this was making my mum quite worried...in our house if you're off your food you're proper poorly!
The rest of the week... Since Saturday I have been out everyday and gradually got my stamina back.
Sunday I started eating again...like a small pony as my mum kindly put it! I went for a short walk round Jesmond Dene and only had to have a very little nap when I got home.
Monday I had a whole day out in South Shields and apart from being a bit slow at walking I was almost back to normal! My chest felt a bit tight at the end of the day but it felt better as soon as I got home and relaxed.
Now its Sunday 24th and I have spent the day in the new house, sanding and varnishing and painting...feeling great! I don't have much strength in my arms, I can't carry much and I don't have any downward strength to slice cheese or chop veg.
I'm having my dressings off tomorrow...my stickers as Sean and I have taken to calling them! I will try to update on this appointment but my internet is going down tomorrow so it may be a
Day 1 Wednesday 13th Tuesday night I slept like the dead, morphine induced of course! I stopped taking my morphine in the wee hours of Wednesday morning as I didn't need it at all.
Coming off the morphine meant I started taking oral codeine and paracetamol. All went well until the evening when I had horrendous visions every time I closed my eyes. I was also sick on Wednesday night, I thought these symptoms must be due to the codeine so stopped taking that and managed pain free on paracetamol alone.
Two of my closest friends came to visit me, along with the usual Sean and parents. I think I was an engaging patient...I didn't fall asleep at least!
Day 2 Thursday 14th Due to the sickness on Wednesday night I was now taking anti-sickness tablets with my antibiotics and paracetamol...an anti-inflammatory had also been added to my meds.
The anti-sickness did little to stop me feeling nauseous and completely knocked me out...I could not keep my eyes open when Sean and my mum came at visiting time!
I was thoroughly fed up of being in hospital at this point and considering imaginary ways to make the doctor suffer if he refused to let me go home the next morning!
I had to stay in hospital until my drains were draining a minimal amount of fluid from the wound site.
I have heard people do an awful lot of moaning about these infamous drains, now they're not a barrel of laughs but they are not as bad as I expected. I had two on each side, they were pint glass size and the tubes were long enough for them to reach the floor, and this is where they sat most of the time...on the floor at either side of my bed. When I went for a wander around all I had to do was bunch them into one hand, half way down the tubes.
They entered my chest just under my armpits and one looped round the bottom, the other round the top of my breast on each side. A single stitch was used to secure each of the drains to my skin and they didn't pull much at all.
Although they weren't as bad as I thought, getting them out meant I could go home and for that reason they became hated and I couldn't wait to be rid!
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