I have been asked by several women how all this has affected my relationship with Sean. I feel that is has only made us stronger, I know I can depend on Sean and he has been a great support.
But I though it might be useful to hear Sean's perspective;

I don't remember Ellie telling me she had BRCA; really I have known ever since I met her two years ago. I started to find out more about BRCA in March 2011 when Ellie found the Hereditary Breast Cancer Helpline and discovered she had options.... A mastectomy with reconstruction did seem extreme at first, but the more I found out about BRCA the more it appeared to be the most sensible long-term option. Like Ellie I look at it from a fairly clinical perspective.

Ideally, I wouldn’t change a thing about Ellie, I think she is perfect as she is. I still don’t think it has fully struck me, even though the surgery is in two months time. I don’t think it will affect our relationship, I will still think she is beautiful and will never have to worry about her getting BC. However, I do worry how Ellie will feel when she wakes up. It is a big change in her body image and I can’t really imagine what that would feel like myself.

I am really dreading the surgery itself. I don’t like the idea of Ellie having a general anaesthetic and undergoing the other risks of surgery. I have no idea how I will occupy myself during the hours she is in theatre. I will be sick with worry.

I’m also concerned about the recovery period. I looked after Ellie for a week while she had gastroenteritis and she was a right pain in the arse! She is not good at being looked after. When she can’t do what she wants to do she gets very frustrated and I think she will find it hard to limit herself. I have dug out all my DVDs to watch with her and I plan to get a Kenwood mixer so she can still bake. She’s very good at baking and I am her official taster; she will still be able to bake me cakes even while she doesn’t have the strength to stir. I will also teach her to play xbox but I will have to be careful about it because she has an addictive personality. Ellie’s mum and I will have to tell her what she’s not to do. Friends in the area will be helpful I’m sure and come round when she is fed up of me.

Ellie and I are quite active; I love climbing and like to go with Ellie but it will be a long time before she is able to do that and it will not be the same without her.

I will put a couple of posts on this blog after Ellie’s surgery and during her recovery to let you know how she is getting on and how grumpy she is.

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